Some ideas change our lives forever: before Karl Marx, some people thought they just disliked other people, but nobody knew why. Before Rene Descartes, nobody knew they were thinking, they all believed they were just considering or contemplating.
So Muppet theory came as a great revelation to me: we can all be classified as a Chaos Muppet or an Order Muppet.
Chaos Muppets (Cookie Monster, Ernie, Grover, Gonzo, Animal, members of the Electric Mayhem) are out-of-control, emotional, volatile. "They make their way through life in a swirling maelstrom of food crumbs, small flaming objects and the letter C."
Order Muppets (Scooter, Bert, Sam the Eagle, Kermit, and that little blue guy who is harassed by Grover in restaurants) tend to be neurotic and adverse to surprises. "They sometimes resent the responsibility of the world weighing on their felt shoulders," but know they must keep the show running. Your kindergarten teacher was probably an Order Muppet.
It's not that one kind of Muppet is better than the other, it's simply that the key to a happy marriage, a well-functioning family, and a productive place of work lies in carefully calibrating the ratio of Chaos Muppets to Order Muppets. Think of "Pigs in Space" or producing a hit Broadway show. Consider also, the current US Supreme Court. One possible reason for its dysfunctionality is that the Order Muppets have all but taken over. Remember the old rule: "Too many Order Muppets means no cookies for anyone."
Not sure which Muppet you are? "Order Muppets tend to pick Chaos Muppets for their life partners, cookies notwithstanding." So if you're married to a Chaos Muppet, there's a good chance you're Bert. If you're married to an Order Muppet, you may well be the Swedish Chef.
You can email me a long letter about this, but though I try keep order, I'm basically a Chaos Muppet and will probably lose your email anyway.
Like Dr Bunsen Honeydew, in an effort to organize the world, I sow chaos throughout the land.
Just one more word
Mahna Mahna
Column by Dahlia Lithwick "What Kind of Muppet are you, chaos or order? Chaos Theory: A Unified Theory of Muppet Chaos" Friday June 8 2012, 2012 from Slate Magazine slate.com.
This blog post supported by the Order Muppet who brings reason to the Skinner clan. Also brought to you by the Chaos Muppets in my family who have brought me so much joy, and by the letter "S"
